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Hm.

Thu Jul 3, 2008, 11:37 AM
Seme

So, I've been asked several times and told several times that I am not the way I used to be... that I am not as happy and cheerful... that I don't smile anymore, that I am generally not the happiest person ever..

Well, I have changed I guess... at the start of this year I was fine and as the months drew on and more shit started to happen from one thing I did, well, I started to change too. I don't take kindly to being lied to, and talked about behind my back and I knew things like that were happening... so can you blame me for starting to get pissed off at everything? Hell, I did my best to not be as annoyed and tried to be happy. It worked for a bit, then it all started happening again and that threw me off the deep end and I just couldn't fucking take it anymore.

I've learned over the past few months who are my friends, and who aren't, and even now I don't know who I can trust, and who I can't. I'm not being the same as I was before, trusting those I meet now, no.. the ones who have my trust now will always have it unless they start with the same. And the ones that lost it, well you have a long road ahead of you to prove that you deserve to have it back, and then maybe I'll start being cheerful around you again. But until then, how I act is what will stay unless you're one of the few that I do still trust and will be my cheery old self with..

*Edit*

Still moody, I mean it, keep being reminded of people and things I want to forget, really shows who your friends are, fuck, if you didn't want to be a friend say so, if you didn't like a rp or story was going, say something instead of fucking lying about it then when you get caught, don't deny lying when there's more then enough proof to show you are not telling the truth.

The cool cats of DA... in no particular order... my favorite peoples...

:iconxmkx::iconsangheiliaine::iconhalfgoth-halfthug::icondarkenlite::iconjeminidecepticon::icondragonseeker789::icontessombra::iconkaekokat14::iconprincestarscream::iconsofty-pokewolf::iconraidenprime::iconkittylover9399::iconcyndilovespiccolo::iconcathy-noonyez::iconluanatf::icontohjosakana::icondecepticondeputy-umi::iconneondahlia:
  • Mood: Annoyed
  • Listening to: the fan on my desk

Devious Comments

love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0

You have a right to be pissy when backed into a corner and screwed in a NOT good way--only game show hosts remain unchanged--but for as much as you changed, at least you STAYED. I appreciate that -- I feel bad when friends bail and I don't even have the time to say goodbye, or to fix it if I can.

Annnnndd--I got my first Jazz toy! I'd never have gotten one if not for you--its that Binaltech die cast model--not his traditional colors, but with the visor ans real slick, but heavy--kinda like I see you (not weight wise)--he reminded me of you, so I got him. Thanks man--he's definetly the 'ride'--and my Prowl Binaltech thanks you.

--
Armed with the personality of Leprecaun gold on a winter's day...
What makes it worse is that when they were confronted they denied it all so that just made it worse and just... if I could foam at the mouth I probably would have been... I mean if they came clean instead of lying then I wouldn't be this way but no, deny deny deny. Well it's pretty much the whole, if they want to still be friends or salvage it somehow they need to start making the effort because I'm done putting any effort in it...

Ooooo snazzy.. ^^ Hehe that's cool, and it's neat that he reminds you of me and everything.. Hehe well, now Prowl has a friend and will not be lonely. x3

--
"We're cops! Open up!" "...Why?" "Well, I'm Francis, that's Grandpa Bill and...there's zombies out here! Open the goddammed door!"

Biggest Ultra Magnus fanboy ever. TFA G1 RiD... I love them all. :drool:
Maybe they don't understand what it is that upsets you. Or they don't remember exactly what was said. I don't always, particularly the careless, dumb things I never would have said if I wasn't drunk or upset or when I was cleaning toilet paper balls off the ceiling for two hours and find out all my clean towels I'd only washed two hours ago were used to wash dolls and then someone comes up to me asking about what I think about their white socks on blue pants and I accidentally lose my mind, dripping in clorox, venom and BO. Although the person's reaction would generally clue me in--I seldom lose my cool (which my son's doctor remarked about how fascinating and odd THAT was in a mother with an autistic child). EVER.

However, if the occasion ever arises where *I* do that to you, screen cap it. Although I probably won't doubt you, for as much emotionality I lack, I also seem to lack tact, as I'm told. I will apologize promptly and properly.

--
Armed with the personality of Leprecaun gold on a winter's day...
They're well aware I don't like being lied to and that's pretty much all they did to me... lie. Well it's good you don't lose your cool like that, that's a good thing it is... I know if freak out on someone I apologize as much as I can..

Well I can do that, but you haven't done anything like that to me and I don't see you doing it...

--
"We're cops! Open up!" "...Why?" "Well, I'm Francis, that's Grandpa Bill and...there's zombies out here! Open the goddammed door!"

Biggest Ultra Magnus fanboy ever. TFA G1 RiD... I love them all. :drool:
I feel bad for noticing and not talking to you in any attempt to try and cheer you up. I mean, I got here and Myspace and nothing. ._.'' I apologize one thousand times folded over- I should talk to others more often. I hate my stupid little shell I've put myself in...

But if it makes you feel any better, when I was in school, I had people talk about me in bad ways all the freakin time. I just learned to brush it off and deal with it. There's really nothing you can do except ignore it, unless you can face it head on, which I couldn't, so I ignored it.

That probably made you feel worse- sorry ._.''

--
I like pie :yum:
*I'm Jetfire in the SNI Club Crew!![link]
...Interesting...:paranoid:
Oh Jazzy :(
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a hard time too.
If you ever need to talk to someone though you can always im me on yahoo, you know I'll always be there to talk to somebody when they are upset about something.
I'll give you an im when I get off my labtop.

--
*Ehem, begins to sing*

IIIII LOOOOVVEEEE! JAZZY AND RATCHY AND REDDY TOO! Sunstreaker and Sideswipe! They have talents too! Than there is Inferno and Tracks woohoo! All the fun autobots yippie di doo!

R.I.P. Grandpa, Angelo Portanova, Died Dec. 9 07
Wow they must have pushed you really hard this time to put it on your journal. I know we talked about it and I'm sorry its happening to you still.
HOpefully this journal will be a much needed wake up call to them.

Who would be happy if people one trusts treats you like that? Anyone would change under those circumstances. Who would smile when that is happening?

--
Jazz LIVES!!!

TransFormSlash: Slashy all the time!
[link]

Ask yourself: What would Starscream do?
Well it's not just them...,. there's others too that make me feel like this and I'm just getting sick and frustrated with it and evrything... *sighs*

Well I get asked why I'm not cheerful and everything.....

--
"We're cops! Open up!" "...Why?" "Well, I'm Francis, that's Grandpa Bill and...there's zombies out here! Open the goddammed door!"

Biggest Ultra Magnus fanboy ever. TFA G1 RiD... I love them all. :drool:
I know I haven't been around a lot since he has been home but you know how to reach me. Spam me with notes on here or myspace. I will get back to you right away and as fast as I can.

I don't like to see you down nor upset but I can understand why you feel this way. One can only take so much for so long before breaking.

Just know that I still love ya Jazz and I am here for you anytime. :cuddle:

--
"The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing."

"Weird Domination!" ~ The 3 Weridos (Tano, Seth and myself)

Journal History

What name would compel you to buy hot chicken wings?

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13 deviants said Wings called 'Buffalo Wings'
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